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Friday, July 27, 2018

Recount Writing

WALT use 'show don't tell' to spice up our writing.
25.07.18.
At Luna Park
On a super sunny Sunday I hopped out of my bed and said out loud,
“Can we go to Luna park today please? I really wanted to see what it looked like.
All those cool rides. I didn’t know what they really looked like.
My brothers said with excitement, “We want to see what it looks like too.”
My mum said, “I guess there’s nothing else to do.”
Then I jumped in the car and I thought I wonder what the rides will look like.
So when we got there I raced out of the car and said, “There’s the sign.” It said Luna Park.
We walked through the gates. I was so excited.
There were long stairs that led down to Luna Park. I walked down the stairs.
It was already kind of tiring. Next we went inside the entrance. It’s like a mouth.
So we took some photos of the mouth. I walked in fast because I was so excited.
We went to get these tickets that allow you to go on the rides.
When we got them we  thought which ride should we go on first.
I shouted, “Bumper cars!” I ran in speeding like lightning and my brothers ran in like cheetahs.
There were lots of people waiting for a ride so when we had our rides I got so freaked out.
My car was going BUMP! CRASH!
It just kept crashing because I didn’t know how to drive those cars but it was fun anyway.
Then me and Chace went to the roller coaster.
As it started going faster and faster we got so scared.
It felt like we were going off all the edges.
It was going straight and it didn’t look like it was going to stop.
We were glad when the roller coaster stopped. “That was too fast for me,” I said.
After a while me and Tristan saw this thing called the hair razor.
The line was not so long. I thought to myself, “Maybe lots of people might be scared of it.”
So when we went on it we were slowly going up and up and I saw my family.
I waved down at my mum dad and brother. Suddenly we felt like we were falling.
I was so scared. It felt like you’re in the sky and you just fall to the bottom.
It went BANG! I was a bit dizzy. My mum said, “Are you okay?” I couldn't really hear her.
When she said it the second time I heard better.
The next ride we went on was called the crawler or spider.
I didn’t really know what it was called but it was still very scary.
My favorite one was the bumper cars because you can knock other cars around.
The other rides were just scary. Really scary I mean.  

1 comment:

  1. Great story and recollection of event s on our holiday to Luna Park Hilton. I liked the way you described your thoughts and feelings throughout your story. I’m glad you and your brothers had a wonderful time.

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