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Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Recount Writing-Going to Kaikohe

I am learning to add details so my readers can understand my story.
I am learning to add ‘talking’ to make my story more interesting for my readers.
Going to Kaikohe
On Friday morning my mum said we had to go to town.

Me and Chace bolted to the car. We opened the door and jumped into our seats. My mum was driving. We were going to Kaikohe to have lunch and look around in Kaikohe. We were going to 118 Broadway and Coin Save. When we got there we got out of the car and I dashed into 118 Broadway. The first thing I saw was little toy armies. I said to Chace, “Hey Chace look at this.” The next thing I saw was bubbles and then guns but they were fake. Another thing I saw was a Ben Ten chess game. After looking around for a little while we went in to Coin Save. Me and Chace looked at the toys. I saw lego Star Wars and I saw more bubbles.  Next we went to have lunch so me and Chace walked to the car and my mum drove to LJs. I felt joyful. I was having sushi. I had three and Chace had three. We both had chocolate shakes and Chace had chips. When we were finished eating. We walked out and I said, “Yummy.” We went in the car and drove home.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

1 comment:

  1. Hi Hilton,
    I really enjoyed your story about going to town. I noticed how you are choosing to use interesting words like bolted and dashed instead of boring words like went. Keep thinking of new words to include in your work. Again, well done.

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